She had bad hair. Not bad-bad hair, but good-bad hair. Only it had taken her over 30 years to suddenly realise that she’d spent all that time being annoyed at something quirky & cool, which is what she’d wanted in the first place. Nothing had changed but one neurone connecting to another in her head, and her hair had gone from being her enemy to her friend, it also seemed to have a personality that matched her own.
She wondered what else she’d discover about herself that day. Life had been quite weird recently, in her mind at least, since her long anticipated, yet shocking leaving of the husband and giant leap into the unknown. Sometimes you can have life changing realisations, where something just clicks in your mind and you get a shift in understanding and a completely new perspective on a lifetime problem. What a shame, she thought, her mind had made such a giant leap and chose something as mundane as her hair, when her current problems were of a more profound nature. But, still, it made her happy & she was grateful still for having, both awesome hair & a moment of positivity, which hadn’t been as forthcoming as they could be. But, she thought, when it rains, it pours. She touched wood (more for the comfort of ritual than any kind of superstition).
Sometimes, she though, you can’t see what’s there. What else was she missing? Had she been thinking of personality in the same way as her hair? Would she wake up one morning, bleary-eyed, , look in the mirror, have a personality epiphany and see herself in an entirely new way? What was she missing? She knew, though, these thoughts were a slippery slope and if she started to look for something invisible to her, she’d end up trapped in a hall of mirrors of the mind; lost and not knowing what she was looking for.
Another, bigger, surprise had happened without her noticing. A huge mental block had been lifted. Whilst pondering the mundanity of the shift in understanding she’d had this morning, she’d picked up a pen without thinking and started to scribble away, amused at the thoughts coming out of her pen.
But! Something else was afoot! She’d unblocked the writing block, shifted the thinking. Opened a door that she’d lost the key for. All whilst looking for something else. Maybe, life is what happens when you’re searching for other things, she remembered, again, as you do at moments like this. Wow, such a big thing to happen and she hadn’t noticed.
It really was pouring now and she would embrace it, because, she could. Even when she wasn’t thinking about it, which was nice.
Perhaps, she realised, it was the thinking about it too much that had caused it, or she’d known it all along. Time to stop thinking, she thought, time to let that happen, somehow. With the ironic enormity of that thought echoing in her head, she sat back, rolled her eyes and smiled, just after finishing this sentence.